I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
