Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
