I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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