i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Come on in and take your pants off
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