Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
