Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
