That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
