I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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