Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
