Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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