Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
