You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
