dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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