You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
