I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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