I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
