His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't turn off my feet"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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