So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
