We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
