Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
