if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
