Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
