It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
