He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
