i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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