apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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