I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
