he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
