Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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