oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
