So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
