Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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