You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
