i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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