Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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