You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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