I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
