any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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