Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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