I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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