she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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