I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
