Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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