I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
