There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
