I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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