just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
