Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
