I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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