She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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