A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
