We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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