rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sorry about my life...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
