? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
